What Happens When You Insist I Do Things That Make No Sense.

My wife thought I should take care of the card for our nephew’s second birthday. I thought spending money on a card for someone who couldn’t read yet was a dumb idea. I mean, seriously, does anyone give less of a crap about anything than a two year old does about a birthday card? And let’s be honest, the most awful part of any toddler birthday party is when the parents insist on reading the cards to their sex trophy while trying in vain to make them sit still and pretend to give a rat’s ass. It’s a pointless, awkward endeavor that benefits no one. Can we please just end the charade already. Honestly, trees shouldn’t be dying for this.

But despite the fact that I’m so right on this, my wife informed me that I was wrong. So, fine, I’m nothing if not a team player. I’ll toss common sense aside and take part in this ridiculous tradition. In fact, honey, don’t even worry about the inscription. I’ll take care of everything. Because I love you.

Also, on a totally unrelated note, it turns out that I have a very comfortable couch.